AS WITH THE COMMANDER OF AN ARMY, or the leader of any enterprise, so
is it with the mistress of a house. Her spirit will be seen through the
whole establishment; and just in proportion as she performs her duties
intelligently and thoroughly, so will her domestics follow in her path. ...
.
PURSUING THIS PICTURE, we may add, that to be a good housewife does
not necessarily imply an abandonment of proper pleasures or amusing
recreation; and we think it the more necessary to express this, as the
performance of the duties of a mistress may, to some minds, perhaps seem
to be incompatible with the enjoyment of life.
.
EARLY RISING IS ONE OF THE MOST ESSENTIAL QUALITIES which enter into
good Household Management ... when a mistress is an early
riser, it is almost certain that her house will be orderly and
well-managed. On the contrary, if she remain in bed till a late hour,
then the domestics ... invariably partake somewhat of their mistress's
character, will surely become sluggards. ...
.
CLEANLINESS IS ALSO INDISPENSABLE TO HEALTH ... Cold or tepid
baths should be employed every morning, unless, on account of
illness or other circumstances, they should be deemed objectionable.
.
FRUGALITY AND ECONOMY ARE HOME VIRTUES, without which no household
can prosper. ... he that is extravagant will quickly become poor,
and poverty will enforce dependence and invite corruption. ...
[T]hose who can manage a little well, are most likely to succeed
in their management of larger matters. Economy and frugality must
never, however, be allowed to degenerate into parsimony and
meanness.
.
THE CHOICE OF ACQUAINTANCES is very important to the happiness of a
mistress and her family. ... If the duties of a family do not sufficiently
occupy the time of a mistress, society should be formed of such a kind as
will tend to the mutual interchange of general and interesting information.
.
FRIENDSHIPS SHOULD NOT BE HASTILY FORMED, nor the heart given, at
once, to every new-comer. ... [T]hose who possess a long
experience and thorough knowledge of the world, scrutinize the conduct
and dispositions of people before they trust themselves to the first
fair appearances.
.
HOSPITALITY IS A MOST EXCELLENT VIRTUE; but care must be taken that
the love of company, for its own sake, does not become a prevailing
passion; for then the habit is no longer hospitality, but dissipation.
.
IN CONVERSATION, TRIFLING OCCURRENCES, such as small disappointments,
petty annoyances, and other every-day incidents, should never be
mentioned to your friends. The extreme injudiciousness of repeating
these will be at once apparent, when we reflect on the unsatisfactory
discussions which they too frequently occasion, and on the load of
advice which they are the cause of being tendered, and which is, too
often, of a kind neither to be useful nor agreeable. ...
.
GOOD TEMPER SHOULD BE CULTIVATED by every mistress, as upon it the
welfare of the household may be said to turn ... Every head of a
household should strive to be cheerful, and should never fail to show
a deep interest in all that appertains to the well-being of those
who claim the protection of her roof. ...
.
ON THE IMPORTANT SUBJECT OF DRESS AND FASHION ... The opinions found
in the "Englishwoman's Domestic Magazine": 'whatever is the
prevailing mode in attire, lest it intrinsically be ever so absurd,
it will never look as ridiculous as another, or as any other,
which, however convenient, comfortable, or even becoming, is totally
opposite in style to that generally worn.'
.
IN PURCHASING ARTICLES OF WEARING APPAREL ... consider three
things:
That it be not too expensive for her purse.
That its colour harmonize with her complexion, and its
size and pattern with her figure.
That its tint allow of its being worn with the other
garments she possesses.
...
.
THE DRESS OF THE MISTRESS should always be adapted to her
circumstances, and be varied with different occasions. Thus,
at breakfast she should be attired in a very neat and
simple manner, wearing no ornaments. ... the dress,
jewellery and ornaments are not to be worn until the full
dress for dinner is assumed. ...
.
CHARITY AND BENEVOLENCE ARE DUTIES which a mistress owes to
herself as well as to her fellow-creatures; and there is
scarecely any income so small, but something may be spared
from it, even if it be but "the widow's mite." ... it is
the spirit of charity which imparts to the gift a
value far beyond its actual amount, and is by far its better
part.
Visiting the houses of the poor is the only practical way really
to understand the actual state of each family ... Great advantages
may result from visits paid to the poor; for there being,
unfortunately, much ignorance, generally, amongst them with
respect to all household knowledge, there will be opportunities
for advising and instructing them, in a pleasant and unobtrusive
manner, in cleanliness, industry, cookery, and good management.
.
IN MARKETING, THAT THE BEST ARTICLES ARE THE CHEAPEST, may be laid
down as a rule; and it is desirable ... that the mistress should
herself purchase all provisions and stores needed for the house. ...
.
A HOUSEKEEPING ACCOUNT-BOOK should invariably be kept, and kept
punctually and precisely. ... [W]rite down into a daily diary
every amount paid on that particular day, be it ever so small;
then, at the end of the month, let these various payments be
ranged under their specific heads of Butcher, Baker, &c.; and
thus will be seen the proportions paid to each tradesman, and
any one month's expenses may be contrasted with another. The
housekeeping accounts should be balanced not less than once
month; so that you may see that the money you have in hand
tallies with your account of it in your diary.
.
This duty was of major consequence: the
cause of much domestic fraud when not strictly obeyed, due to
dishonest servants and collusion between servants and
tradesmen! 1
When, in a large establishment, a housekeeper is kept, it will
be advisable for the mistress to examine her accounts regularly.
.
ENGAGING DOMESTICS is one of those duties in which the judgment of
the mistress must be keenly exercised. ... Every portion of work
which the maid will have to do, should be plainly stated by the
mistress, and understood by the servant. If this plan is not
carefully adhered to, domestic contention is almost certain to
ensue, and this may not be easily settled; so that a change of
servants, which is so much to be deprecated, is continually occurring.
.
IN OBTAINING A SERVANT'S CHARACTER, It is not well to be guided by a
written one from some unknown quarter; but it is better to have an
interview, if at all possible, with the former mistress. By this
means you will be assisted in your decision ... from the appearance
of the lady and the state of her house. Negligence and want of
cleanliness in her and her household generally, will naturally lead
you to the conclusion, that her servant has suffered from the
influence of the bad example. ... Your first questions should be
relative to the honesty and the morality of her former servant ...
.
THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS is of the highest possible moment, as well
to the mistress as to the domestics themselves. [I]f they perceive that
the mistress's conduct is regulated by high and correct principles, they
will not fail to respect her. ...
.
IN GIVING A CHARACTER, it is scarcely necessary to say that the
mistress should be guided by a sense of strict justice. It is not fair
for one lady to recommend to another, a servant she would not keep
herself. ...
.
THE FOLLOWING TABLE OF THE AVERAGE YEARLY WAGES paid
to domestics, with the various members of the household placed in
the order in which they are usually ranked, will serve as a guide
to regulate the expenditure of an establishment:
When not found in Livery.
When found in Livery.
The House Steward
From 10 to 80
The Valet
25 to 50
From 20 to 30
The Butler
25 to 50
The Cook
20 to 40
The Gardener
20 to 40
The Footman
20 to 40
15 to 25
The Under Butler
15 to 30
15 to 25
The Coachman
20 to 35
The Groom
15 to 30
12 to 20
The Under Footman
12 to 20
The Page or Footboy
8 to 18
6 to 14
The Stableboy
6 to 12
.
When no extra allowance
is made for
Tea, Sugar, and Beer.
When an extra allowance
is made for
Tea, Sugar, and Beer.
The Housekeeper
From 20 to 35
From 18 to 40
The Lady's-maid
12 to 25
10 to 20
The Head Nurse
15 to 30
13 to 26
The Cook
11 to 30
12 to 26
The Upper Housemaid
12 to 20
10 to 17
The Upper Laundry-maid
12 to 18
10 to 15
The Maid-of-all-work
9 to 14
7-1/2 to 11
The Under Housemaid
8 to 12
6-1/2 to 10
The Still-room Maid2
9 to 14
8 to 13
The Nursemaid
8 to 12
5 to 10
The Under Laundry-maid
9 to 11
8 to 12
The Kitchen-maid
9 to 14
8 to 12
The Scullery-maid
5 to 9
4 to 8
.
HAVING THUS INDICATED some of the more general duties
of the mistress, relative to the moral government of
her household, we will now give a few specific
instructions on matters having a more practical
relation to the position which she is supposed to
occupy in the eye of the world. to do this the more
clearly, we will begin with her earliest duties, and
take her completely through the occupation of the day.
.
HAVING RISEN EARLY; as we have already advised, and
having given due attention to to the bath, and made
a careful toilet, it will be well at once to see
that the children have received their proper ablutions.
The breakfast is next, at which the entire family
should be punctually present.
.
AFTER BREAKFAST IS OVER, the mistress should make a
round of the kitchen and other offices, to ascertain
that the domestics are pproperly engaged in their
work, required articles distributed from the store-closet.
.
AFTER THIS GENERAL SUPERINTENDANCE of the servants,
the mistress should instruct her children, read,
take care of her wardrobe.
.
THESE DUTIES AND PLEASURES BEING PERFORMED AND
ENJOYED, lunch is impending. Servants dine, too.
.
AFTER LUNCHEON, MORNING CALLS AND VISITS are
made or received. Three kinds of visits:
Ceremony
Friendship
Congratulation or condolence
Proper etiquette for visits: a lady may remove
her boa or neckerchief; but neither her shawl
nor bonnet.
.
IN PAYING VISITS OF FRIENDSHIP, proper etiquette:
if pressed to remove her shawl and bonnet, it can
be done. Serious discussions are to be altogether
avoided.
.
FOR MORNING CALLS, be neatly attired: better to
be under-dressed than over-dressed. Take note of
how soon your visits are returned, as this allows
you to
determine if your visits are desireable.
.
IN PAYING VISITS OF CONDOLENCE, payed within a
week of the event. Proper etiquette excludes
raucaous behaviour (a subdued demeanour of
sympathy is best), the visitor dressed in black.
.
IN RECEIVING MORNING CALLS, the occupations of
drawing, music, or reading should be suspended
upon the entrance of morning visitors, though
continuing with needlework is not incompatible
with good breeding.
.
THE MORNING CALLS BEING PAID OR RECEIVED, the next
great event of the day is "The Dinner" (this
is not meant to be facetious).
.
IN GIVING OR ACCEPTING AN INVITATION FOR DINNER,
there are several ways or wording an invitation
card, but effectively, such an invitation should
identify the hosts, the guests, address of the
hosts, and the day and time of the dinner.
.
THE HALF-HOUR BEFORE DINNER, is the time of
greatest anxiety. The mistress should tactfully
suggest light and cheerful subjects of discussion
such as a book (if the mistress reads), or some
other such small-talk.
.
DINNER BEING ANNOUNCED ("sOUP'S ON!"),the host
should offer his arm in respect to the lady to
whom he holds in highest respect (this excludes
the domestic help) to the table. The mistress
(no longer commander) must fade away (swearing
is NOT appropriate).
.
THE GUESTS BEING SEATED AT THE DINNER-TABLE,
the lady of this establishment commences to
help serve the food to the guests, starting
with the gentleman on her right, and following
in order.
.
WHEN DINNER IS FINISHED, THE DESSERT is
placed upon the table accompanied by
finger-glasses.
.
WHEN FRUIT HAS BEEN TAKEN, and wine passed
around the time will have arrived when the
hostess will rise (thus she ought not to get
tipsy), signaling the ladies to leave the
gentlemen and retire to the drawing-room.
The gentlemen also reire, opening the door
leading from the dining room to the drawing-room.
.
AFTER-DINNER INVITATIONS MAY BE GIVEN, to events
for the evening. It is not normally proper
etiquette to provide after-dinner invitations
to only a few of the guests.
.
THE ETIQUETTE OF THE DINNER-PARTY TABLE,
disposed of, the evening party or ball is
next. Invitations to the ball should be
sent at least three weeks in advance,
responses received within a week of the
event.
.
AS THE LADIES AND GENTELMEN ARRIVE, they
should be shown to the reception rooms
(separate for men and women). Attedants
waiting to assist uncloaking.
.
AS THE VISITORS ARE ANNOUNCED BY THE
SERVANT, the lady should rise to
receive their courtesies.
.
A SEPARATE ROOM OR CONVENIENT BUFFET
should be set aside for refreshments
and where dancers may retire. Cakes,
biscuits, wine negus (punch), lemonade,
etc. being made available in this room.
.
THE BALL IS GENERALLY OPENED, by the
lady commader taking the first place
in the first quadrille.
.
WHEN ANY OF THE CARRIAGES OF THE GUESTS
ARE ANNOUNCED, or departure time arrived,
the arrival or departure of the guests
should be as unobserved as possible (no
crouds rushing to exit, no matter how
bad the food was).
.
HAVING THUS DISCOURSED of parties of
pleasure, we return to the domestic
household. Proper etiquette at parties
and balls is required to provide for
the happy home of the English gentelwoman.
.
A FAMILY DINNER AT HOME, "Household
Cookery" will soom follow. cooking,
serving, laying of the tablecloth
and the sideboard should be with the
same cleanliness, neatness and
scroupulous exactness, be it for the
lady of the house alone, the family,
or for company.
.
OF THE MANNER OF PASSING EVENINGS
AT HOME. Interesting and agreeable
pastime should be promoted at home
for young people, as if they do not
find pleasure at home, they will
seek it elsewhere.
3
.
IN RETIRING FOR THE NIGHT, early rising
is almost impossible if going to bed late.
Thus going to bed late leads to household
disorder. When reiring for the night, the
children and domestics should retire, then
the master or mistress should take care of
lights and fire. On no account should
servants be allowed to remain up after the
heads of the house have retired.
.
HAVING THUS GONE FROM EARLY RISING TO
EARLY RETIRING, what remains are special
information for the mistress.
.
WHEN A MISTRESS TAKES A HOUSE in a new
locality, it is proper etiquette for
the mistress to wait for older
inhabitants of the neighborhood to
call upon her. any such visits should
be punctiliously returned.
.
YOU MAY PERHAPS HAVE BEEN FAVOURED with
letters of introduction to neighbors.
The mistress should keep records of such
letters of introduction, and if such
persons call, the mistress should return
the call.
.
IN GIVING A LETTER OF INTRODUCTION, in
return to a letter of introduction
received, the letter of introduction
received should always be hand delivered
to the person, unsealed. The person
introduced would then know in what
manner he or she was spoken of.
.
SUCH ARE THE ONEROUS DUTIESof the
mistress of the house. The behaviour
of the mistress of the house will be
the pattern that her daughters will
model themselves. The conduct of the
mistress will be cause of respect by
her family and her inferiors.
.
THE HOUSEKEEPER: SECOND IN COMMAND
IN THE HOUSE. The housekeeper is
representative of the mistress, and
must manage the household with
honesty, industry and vigilance,
constantly watching for wrong-doing
by the domestics.
.
A NECESSARY QUALIFICATION FOR A
HOUSEKEEPER, is a thorough
understanding of accounts.She will
have to write in her books an
accurate registry of all sums paid
for any and every purpose: house
expenses, tradesmen's bills, etc.
The housekeepers's accounts should
be periodically balanced and examined.
.
ALTHOUGH IN THE DEPARTMENT OF THE COOK,
the housekeeper should not interfear,
yet the housekeeper must have a good
knowledge of the culinary art. The
housekeeper often needs to superintend
the kitchen.
.
THE DAILY DUTIES OF A HOUSEKEEPER are
by what she superintends. The housekeeper
should rise early, supervise the domestics.
The housekeeper has her breakfast in the
housekeeper's room, with the lady's maid,
butler, valet, still-room maid. The
household linen will be examined for
repairs, or to obtain more as needed. The
housekeeper will see to it that the house
furniture is polished, take care of
marketing and tradesmen.
.
AFTER DINNER, the housekeeper may be helping
with dessert, or the still room.
2
.
IN THE EVENING, the housekeeper prepares
for the next day's duties, maintaing
account books, etc.
.
IN CONCLUDING REMARKS, the housekeeper
must be above suspicion, as she is
exposed to many temptations. The
housekeeper must be strong, healthy,
and cleanly.
.
ARRANGEMENT AND ECONOMY OF THE KITCHEN. What follows:
SEASONAL AVAILABILITY of fruits, vegetables, fish, meats, poultry, etc.
COOKERY
DUTIES OF THE COOK, KITCHEN MAID AND SCULLERY MAID
GLOSSARY of culinary terminolgy (French)
Soups
Fish
Sauces
Meats (Quadrupeds, Birds,etc.)
Vegetables and Salads
Puddings and Pastries
Creams, Jellies, Omletts, etc.
Preserves, Confectionaries, Ices, Desserts
Dairy and Eggs
Breads, Biscuits, and Cakes
Beverages
Invalid Cookery
Miscellaneous: Table setting, Menus, etc.
Domestic Male Servant Duties: Butlers,
Footman, Coachman, Groom, Stable-Boy, Valet
Domestic Female Servant Duties: Lady's Maid,
Upper and Under Housemaids,
Maid-of-All-Work, Dairy-Maid,
Upper and Under Nursemaids, Sick-Nurse,
Monthly-nurse, Wet-Nurse
1
I doubt whether two young birds could have
known less about keeping house, than I and
my pretty Dora did. We had a servant, of
course. She kept house for us. I still have
a latent belief that she must have been Mrs.
Crupp's daughter in disguise, we had such an
awful time of it with Mary Anne.
.
Her name was Paragon. Her nature was represented
to us, when we engaged her, as being feebly
expressed in her name. She had a written
character, as large as a proclamation, and
according to this document, could do everything
of a domestic nature that ever I heard of, and a
great many things that I never did hear of. ...
.
Our treasure was warranted sober and honest. I
am therefore willing to believe that she was in
a fit when we found her under the boiler, and
that the deficient teaspoons were attributable
to the dustman. ...
.
The next domestic trial we went through was the
Ordeal of Servants. Mary Anne's cousin [in the
Life Guards] deserted into our coal-hole, and
was brought out, to our great amazement, by a
piquet of his companions in arms, who took him
away handcuffed, in a procession that covered
our front-garden with ignominy. This nerved me
to get rid of Mary Anne, who went so mildly, on
receipt of wages, that I was surprised, until I
found out about the teaspoons, and also about
the little sums she had borrowed in my name of
the tradespeople without authority. ...
.
As to the washerwoman pawning the clothes, and
coming in a state of penitent intoxication to
apologize, I suppose that might have happened
several times to anybody. ...
.
"David Copperfield", by Charles Dickens, Penguine, 1980, Chapter XLIV.
.
2
A still room is a storeroom or pantry where
distillation or brewing takes place.
.
3
It was not uncommon for upper-class boys
to be sexually involved at home with the
"downstairs" female servants, as well as
to seek sexual involvements with lower-class
women or prostitutes outside of the home.
When children were sent to boarding schools,
homosexual activities in these schools were
not infrequent. Perhaps the family
"athmosphere" described in "Mrs Beeton's
book of Household Management" will help
explain this.
.
"The Other Victorians", by Stephen Marcus, Basic Books, 1974, pp. 129-132, and Chap. 6
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